


12:59 am

by hjsuwu



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Letters, Love Letters, Secret Admirer, sucide attempt, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26596147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hjsuwu/pseuds/hjsuwu
Summary: changbin gets letters from a secret admirer thinking it's finally a girl who likes him.who would have thought it's jisung, one of his best friends?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	1. 하나

song:

[location - khalid](https://youtu.be/by3yRdlQvzs)

changbin yawned and rubbed his eyes.  
it was a chill spring morning, but he decided a shirt and short were enough to get the mail for his mother.

he walked to the mailbox, opened it and fetched the few letters out.  
going through them, he noticed a pastel orange one.

it smelled like peaches and the writing was beautiful.

_seo changbin_

it's for him?  
as a typical student, he never really got letters except for his bank account making ads for some weird youth program.

so seeing this, made him smile. did he have a secret admirer?

girls never seemed to be interested in him.  
his best friend chan had a lot more luck, always a new girlfriend ever week.  
changbin shook his head and got back inside, loving the feeling of warmth that surrounded him like a soft blanket.

he threw the letters for his parents on the counter, not noticing how they fell on the ground, just smiling.

maybe someone finally liked him.

he ran to his room like a four year old, smiling the whole time.

when he entered his room the sweaty smell with some lavender fading into nothingness welcomend him, but all he could smell was peaches.

_dear changbin,_

_you may know me but probably not.  
i'm pretty shy and i don't talk much._

_i just wanted to tell you, that you are really really cute and i would love to talk to you some more but you woulnd't like me at all._

_hope you don't mind me liking you from afar!  
if you do, well i'm sorry._

_i hope you smiled because of this, if not...i'm sorry  
again._

_i heard that you were insecure latley!  
so! compliment of the week!_

_you look gorgeous in glasses!_

_\- j._


	2. 둘

song:

_[insomnia - daya](https://youtu.be/JybV1mL6EMA) _

_dear changbin_

_a week later!  
i saw you looking around but no one notices me so don't  
waste your time._

_better use it to look into the mirror because you are so so beautiful.  
when i look at you, i just feel like i'm losing my mind.  
how can someone be so beautiful?_

_as you noticed, todays letter smells like lavender!  
i like different smells so i thought, why not experiment a bit?  
i'm pretty weird i know._

_by the way.  
it's night right now and there are two stars, that i can see very clear._

_one is very bright and big.  
than there is another one.  
looking small and shy.  
_

_it's us!_

_compliment of the week!  
_

_your smile is brighter than my future will ever be.  
it makes every sad day into a happy one!_

_\- j._


	3. 셋

song:

[thinking bout you - frank ocean](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGp92LanUAM)

_dear changbin,_

_you asked all your friends, if they know a girl starting  
with their name starting with a j._

_i don't know if i should be offened or honored._

_please don't try to find me though.  
you will be disappointed. belive me._

_todays letter smells like oranges!  
i hope it's not too intense, i tried._

_to today a new episode of my favorite anime came out!  
i was so excited but now i'm sad because it was sad._

_come and cuddle me to cheer me up?_

_i wish._

_laying on the bed together, watching anime.  
you cheering me up because something is sad.  
or calming me because it's scary.._

_it would be...._

_...perfect._

_you're imagining some pretty girl right?  
haha._

_compliment of the week!_

_i was wrong about last weeks letter. you aren't just a star._

_you are the sun.  
you're bright and beautiful. always smiling and always there for anyone._

_-j._


	4. 넷

song:

[2u - justin bieber](https://youtu.be/Ig-HcR159D4)

_dear changbin,_

_you really think i'm a girl, right?_

_haha sorry to crush your bubble._

_i'm a guy.  
i mean i am pretty small (you're shorter)  
my best friend said i have a small waist?  
yeah. _

_you probably wont read my letters anymore.  
oops._

_i'm sorry??_ _i know that you wanted me to be a girl so so badly.  
_ _you talked hours and hours about the girl that likes you and sends you cute scented letters._

_you said, you would watch anime with her, even though_

_you hate anime._

_does that have to change?  
just because i'm not a girl?  
_ _probably._

_today's scent is eucalyptus.  
_ _it's my favorite. hope you like it._

_compliment of the week!  
you have very pretty eyebrows. -j. _


	5. 다섯

song:

[i like me better - lauv](https://youtu.be/a7fzkqLozwA)

_dear changbin,_

_i heard you complaining about me.  
i'm sorry?  
you wanted to know who i am, but i'm scared._

_you told everyone, that you're straight and  
i know. that's why it hurts so much to love you._

_knowing that i never have the chance to hold your  
hand without you saying "no homo bro"_

_i get it.  
i'm sorry._

_please continue to smile. don't lose it.  
i'll ose mine if you lose yours._

_\- j._

_ps: todays letter smelled like lemons. hope you like it._


	6. Chapter 6

song:

[different - woodz](https://youtu.be/e8DfkZ0HDXE)

_dear changbin,_

_you openly said to your friends, that you wont judge  
the person that send you the letters.  
i hope thats true._

_if yes, meet me.  
i wont be mad or sad or anything.  
i just think it's better to reveal myself personally  
i guess?_

_1am  
at that one playground you and chan always go  
to get drunk and stuff.  
i'll wait._

_please don't disappoint me and be mean.  
i trust you changbin._

_-j._

"should i go?"  
changbin was unsure.

he probably should, but he didn't know if he wanted to lose a friendship over some stupid love stuff. 

todays letter was white and didn't smell like anything.  
he could see some water stains though. did he...cry while writing this?

changbin smiled. whoever that boy was.  
he was cute.

how should he be mad at him?


	7. 일곱

song:

[a sad night track - code kunst](https://youtu.be/cBKdLPDnapI)

changbin looked at his way too expensive watch.  
nearly 1 am.

he let out some air, seeing little clouds forming in front of him.

when changbin arrived at the playground, he saw no one.  
he was confused, looked at his watch.  
12:59.

he was on time. where was his secret admirer?  
he searched around the playground, just to see a letter placed on one of the old red swings.

the letter was peachy orange and smelled like...peaches.

it was stained from tears all over it. causing the ink to get a bit blurry.

_hi changbin,_

_you're probably wondering, where is he?  
i got scared haha_

_you'll probably see what happened to me  
tomorrow morning.  
_

_i'm sorry for causing so much stress?_

_it was so bad at home.  
so much screaming.  
_

_so many voices._

_you were the only one, that made the voices go away.  
_

_i don't wanna lose that.  
i don't wanna lose you._

_and i wont._

_please know, that it's not your fault!  
_

_please don't think like that!!_

_i added a list with reasons why i like you.  
i hope you look at it whenever you're sad or feel  
insecure._

_love you!!_

_\- jisung_

"did he-"  
changbin pulled his phone out immediatley. calling jisung multiple times.  
he didn't answer.

"i swear to god, if you harmed yourself in any way-"

after failed attempts of calling him, he called his parents.  
explaining the situation.

they called an ambulance.  
he got into the hospital.  
they saved him.

changbin cried a lot that night.

jisung was one of his best friends. why didn't he notice it?  
jisung thought, changbin din't knew him that well?  
he thought, he was a stranger to him?

everything seemed blurry and numb.

_reasons why i love you:_

_1\. you have such a pretty pretty smile!  
2\. you have a pure heart, always helping everyone!  
3\. you always make me smile!  
4\. you tease me in a cute way!  
5\. you let me tease you!  
6\. you help me when i'm crying!  
7\. you never let me down!  
8\. you give me a reason to sta-  
9\. you make the vo-  
10\. i don't feel nu-  
11\. i don't wanna d-_

_the last part isn't readable, beause tears made the ink blurry_


End file.
